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Transition (An Ongoing Collection 2018)

by Sad Clown

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1.
Fragile 03:15
Verse 1 I don’t believe in what’s expected of me What you all need me to be ‘coz your fragile I don’t believe in the same things that you do, I don’t wanna be like you ‘coz you’re fragile Do what you want ‘coz it makes no difference to me Verse 2 I don’t believe in the tomorrow you crave, In your cocoon you feel brave yet your fragile I don’t believe in living just to agree, I’d rather learn to be free than stay fragile Do what you want ‘coz it makes no difference to me Verse 3 I don’t believe in what you want me to wear A uniform is a chair for the fragile I don’t believe you’re all that different from me, Behind the mask that you need ‘coz you’re fragile Do what you want ‘coz it makes no difference to me
2.
Verse 1 I’d be myself but who am I? The man you knew, was compromised You’ll find some truth among the lies In time I'll face my new design Chorus Is this good enough? Am I done here? Am I done? Verse 2 Can it be real if I have to try? It seems a pointless exercise I have no voice with which to cry I’d be myself but who am I? Chorus Is this good enough? Are we done here? Are we done? Double Chorus Is this good enough? Am I done here? Am I done? Is this good enough? Are we done here? Are we done?
3.
Verse 1 As words it just dissolves Pronounced to fade away not far from biased tongues As mice and men evolve beyond their yesterdays it’s meaning’s next to none As movement I can feel potential but its weak The fear disrupts the flow As we define the real In quotes we’ve learned to speak We’ve still a way to go Chorus I don’t know what love is X2 Verse 2 We’re told that we can share our feelings as and when it fits the story line We’re told that we should pair beyond just making friends and claim what’s yours and mine Chorus I don’t know what love is X2
4.
Never Again 04:06
Never Again Verse 1 The things I like, and want and crave I’m proud to say I'm not ashamed I spent too long stood in my own way, But on this day I’m now free to say Chorus I don’t need to be understood by you I am free to be different if I choose Never again Will I be sorry for who I am Never again Verse 2 I know I seem, a little strange Kind of weird, or full on deranged I now accept, that which doesn't change And its ok, we’re on a different page Chorus
5.
Stranger 02:53
Verse 1 You’re a stranger to me now I don’t recognize your face You’re not welcome in this place You’re a stranger You’re a stranger to me now I don’t recognise your voice You’re a memory by choice You’re a stranger Verse 2 You’re a stranger to me now I don’t recognize your ways As the thought of you decays You’re a stranger Verse 3 You’re a stranger to me now I don’t recognize you name In the past you will remain As a stranger You’re a stranger to me now I don’t recognize your touch not an enemy as such Just a stranger
6.
Verse 1 I hope to be more than the sins from before I am looking to better myself I hope that I'll be more than yesterday’s me but still me and not somebody else I hope that I'll feel that the progress is real It is more than a mater of will I hope I’ll soon say that I found the right way to grow beyond shadows stood still Chorus I’m working on myself, Coz I don’t wanna hate myself any more X2 Verse 2 I hope that my name will bring joy and not shame to the ones that I once let down I hope that if I just continue to try I will find myself on solid ground Chorus I’m working on myself, Coz I don’t wanna hate myself any more X2 Verse 3 I hope I'll feel proud to stand out of the crowd and know that I fought my fight I hope to get through the dark clouds of review and know what I did was right Chorus
7.
Verse 1 Late at night, When I can’t sleep I try to visualise A better life, For you and me, One less synthesized I know the words, But I can’t speak, So I internalize All the hurt, that leaves me week, and keeps me ostracised Chorus I wish that I had answers, but I'm left in the dark still clueless I wish that I was stronger, But I don’t think i’ll make it through this I don’t know where I’m going, or even if I should be moving I don’t know what I'm doing Verse 2 I’m half asleep, And half awake Just enough to know I’m in too deep, There’s no escape, There’s no where to go Chorus
8.
Verse 1 Behind closed doors I look in the mirror and breakdown Behind closed doors I’m crying a river, a sad clown I’m a shadow of a fragment of my former self, I’m half of the man, and further away from what I’m supposed to be I’m an echo of an idea best left on the shelf, I’m half of a plan, and further away from where I’m supposed to be Behind closed doors I drown in the sound of silence Behind closed doors I'm bound by my own mind’s absence I’m a fragile exhibition of a former smile, I’m half of a scene, and further away from what I’m supposed to be I’m a broken premonition of a future sour, Hard to believe and further away from where I’m supposed to be Interlude I smile while your looking, but when your back is turned I will fall back down Verse 2 Behind close doors I shout until my lungs are empty Behind close doors I’ll scream until someone hears me I’m a loner in the shadows as I always was, I’m half of a lie, and further away from what I’m supposed to be I’m an answer to the question that you’ll never ask, I’m half of a past, and further away from where I’m supposed to be Interlude I smile while your looking, but when your back is turned I will fall back down
9.
Verse 1 Try to smile Let them see beyond the Walls you hide behind Your denial Keeps you feeling normal But you’ve yet to find A way to show The way you feel beyond the Words you use to hide Though your slow The futures looking hopeful To bring out the inside Chorus I don’t wanna change but I'm running out of time I could stay the same but I know there’s more to life I don’t wanna live just to say that I survived I could do some good or at least know that I tried There must be more to life Verse 2 Learn to walk Before you try to run from Those you’ve yet to know Learn to talk Before you scream for help from Those who’ve yet to grow Chorus Bridge I’m lost but I still have hope, for now Tomorrow brings another chance, a new way out Chorus
10.
Verse 1 Choose the words you actually mean Don’t give me lines to read between Say it so X2 So I can understand X2 Coz I don’t understand you So speak as though you want me to understand Verse 2 Say it loud and say it clear Eye to eye and ear to ear Say it so X2 So I can understand X2 Coz I don’t understand you So speak as though you want me to understand Verse 3 Half I wish that we could find a way To speak our minds and clear the grey Say it so X2 I can understand Verse 4 Just speak the truth, that’s all I ask Even if it’s dangerous Say it so X2 So I can understand X2 Coz I don’t understand you So speak as though you want me to understand
11.
Verse 1 We both know time is running out for us as we start to rust The world around us slowly turns to dust and burns to touch Chorus We’re no better than before Toxic, living a lie, wearing a smile We are poison at our core Toxic, living a lie, wearing a smile Verse 2 We both know there’s no body else to blame, we fanned the flames We tried our best but things are much the same, we lost the game Chorus We’re no better than before Toxic, living a lie, wearing a smile We are poison at our core Toxic, living a lie, wearing a smile Bridge I hope (that) in time (that) We both (will) realise (that) Our love, (was) defined (by) Wars one (and) compromise

about

This Collection -

All of the tracks in this collection were written throughout 2018, originally with the intent of acting as a follow up E.P/Album to 2017’s 'A Better Way Of Living'. The aim was a natural development that still embraced our indie pop routes, whilst experimenting with new influences and genres.
The reason that I decided to call this collection 'Transition' is because almost every track is reflective of my mind-set during one of the most transformative periods of my life.
All of these tracks were written, arranged and performed by Jax Richardson, mixed and mastered by Fiachra Mac Oireachtai.

The Concept -

For a long time, I found the traditional formats of release – Singles, E.Ps or Albums – to be quite limiting.
I released one E.P and struggled with balancing variety and cohesion in such a short format. I considered going the route of releasing via singles but the rate of release vs the rate of creation was, in theory, even more unsatisfying. In terms of releasing an album, many people advised me that, at this point in my career, it would be a bad idea. Originally I rebelled against and began preparing the first Sad Clown album but, as always, the same problems occurred during the process. My interest in other genres began to pull me in various directions. Sometimes this would add variety to an otherwise cohesive set of tracks. Other times, it created something that was appropriate to Sad Clown but not appropriate for the collection of songs currently being built. The need for different collaborators, musicians, producers had an effect. The need for different productional approaches had an effect. The balance of influences had an effect. It was almost like I was starting to accidentally create two or three albums at once, that, while awkward in terms of release, is the way I have always worked.

After changing my plans numerous times, as I've done with almost every project to date, I ultimately decided that I needed to simplify. There is a lot of material that is ready and that we want to share but have been limited by practicalities of format. So for the time being we are not planning on releasing any more singles, E.Ps or albums in the traditional sense.
Given that nowadays people tend to experience music separate from these pre-established formats anyway, moving forward we will be building collections, allowing libraries of tracks to assemble organically over time.

Songs will be added to each collection as and when it feels natural to do so. There will be no pre-planned schedules. The collections will grow at whatever rate it feels natural to do so and also potentially stop growing when it feels natural to do so. This will also allow us to experiment with the rate of release.

What separates the tracks in each collection could vary. It could be the performers, the mixers and masterers, the genre focus, subject matter or even just timing.
The idea is that, as we hone our sound and figure out who we are, we can still be sharing music with you in a way that feels organic to us.

credits

released July 29, 2018

Jax Richardson - Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Keys, Programming

All songs written and arranged by Jax Richardson
Engineered by Jax Richardson
Mixed and Mastered by Fiachra Mac Oireachtai

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about

Sad Clown London, UK

Sad Clown is a genre swapping progressive alt. Pop band featuring Jax Richardson (guitar + vocals), Chris Gilbertson (bass), and Emilie Dollerup (vocals)
2024 will see the release of their debut album “Alien”. A collection of songs that showcases the band’s love of genre swapping, crazy riffs and solos along side quirky and introspective lyrics exploring themes of identity, community and society.
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